Interview with the cullen boys
by angelinthesky-121
Summary: This is a interview with the Cullen boys, Emmett, Jasper and Edward. Clue is in the title. So, Yeah, Edward is VERY OOC And Jasper is a bit but I think Emmetts okay. And Bella is also OOC.


**Welcome, how are you?**

Emmett: I'm great! Kinda in the mood to rip something up though...

**Please refrain from ripping me up.**

Emmett: Will do! So, interview time or what?

**Oh yeah, so what ages are you all?**

Edward: Well I'm seventeen in form but I am really 61.

Jasper: No you're not! You're 104.

Edward: ....SHUT UP!

Emmett: (laughs) Yeah, but at least he's not 130.

Jasper: 161 actually.

**Whoa! You are so old! What age were you when you were bit?**

Jasper: 21.

Emmett: Yeah. I'm the youngest Cullen. And the best looking. Apart from Rose of course.

Jasper: Two things. The first, Bella is the youngest Cullen. And the second, Alice is the best looking Cullen.

Edward: Plus Rosalie is a Hale. Hey! Wait a second, I'm the best looking Cullen!

**Uh, sure. Next question, do you believe that we are going to Heaven or do you think that you're all going to Hell?**

Emmett: That all depends on whether or not Carlisle will see this.

**No! I wouldn't do that to you guys.**

Emmett: In that case I believe in Heaven but I don't think that we can get in.

Edward: Dude, you totally stole my philosophy! Give it back!

Emmett: Ah, nah. Don't think I will thanks.

Edward: Fine! I'm just gunna say that I thought of it first and that Emmett stole it.

Jasper: I think that you guys are all gunna get in but I don't think that I can.

Emmett: Uh, stop saying that! You're sorry! Carlisle keeps saying that that makes a difference!

Jasper: Thought that you didn't believe that any one of us is getting in!

Emmett: I don't.

Jasper: Then why are you yelling at me?

Edward: Uh, you are both so immature.

(Emmett picks up a cushion and throws it at him)

Jasper: You know, you're kind of proving his point by doing that.

Emmett: I could easily throw one at you too you know. Do you want that? Do you? 'Cause that's the way this conversation's headed!

**Ok, I'm gunna ask you the next question to spare Jasper getting killed.**

Jasper: Hey! I could take him any day!

Emmett: (snorts)Sure Jazz.

Jasper: I could! I have done.

Emmett: You never.

Jasper: Oh yeah? Remember when Victoria attacked? Who was the better fighter there?

Emmett: Since I didn't get bitten on the arm, I'm gunna say moi.

Jasper: (mutters) I meant before the actual battle.

Edward: HAHAHA!!!

Jasper: Shut up! You weren't actually planning on fighting.

**Okay, calm down Jasper. Anyway, on to my next question. This one is just for Emmett and Jasper. There are a LOT of rumours that are saying you two are... kinda gay. Is it true?**

(Edward bursts into a fit of giggles)

Emmett: Who was it came up with that rumour!? 'Cause the last time that happened I nearly had to get a divorce!

Edward: Yeah, that was hilarious! I laughed so hard that day.

Jasper: When I find the person that started that rumour, so help me...

(Edward looks shifty and moves around a bit. Both turn to look at him)

Emmett: I don't need Jasper's power to know that you are acting shifty.

Jasper: One, two, three. YOU'RE DEAD CULLEN!!!

(Edward runs away and Jasper and Emmett follow)

**A little while later.**

(They enter and Edward is missing his arm)

Edward: Come on guys. It was only a joke. I'm sorry!

Jasper: I'll believe that when I feel it.

Edward: At least tell me where you hid my arm.

Emmett: No chance!

**So, Edward. Before the interview I had conversation with Renesmee. She said that you often use Bella as a slave. Is that true?**

Edward: No! I would never use Bella like that.

(Bella enters and approaches Edward)

Bella: I finished cleaning up the forest beside our house. Is there anything else I can do?

Jasper: (mutters to Emmett) She may as well call him master.

Edward: Uh, no Bella. You go enjoy yourself.

Bella: I can't enjoy myself without you there. Will you come?

Edward: Well, I'm in an interview and I only have one arm. But I'll come after. Go find Renesmee and my arm. I need to talk to her later.

**Well, thanks guys. That is all I needed.**

Edward: No problem at all. Now, the small matter of payment.

Jasper: What do you need money for? You've got lots of it.

Edward: Yes but I don't do interviews for free. Amateurs like you do interviews for free.

Jasper: Whatever.

Emmett: You are WAY too old to say whatever.

Jasper: Okay, Carlisle says whatever. Why do you always tell me that _I'm_ too old to say these things? I'm like, half his age!

Emmett: Exactly. Once you get over 300 then people start to not give a ****.

Edward: Language Emmett. We don't want to offend grandpa Jasper.

Jasper: I was thinking about giving you your arm back, but now you aren't ever getting it back.

(All get up and leave, still talking)

Edward: Oh come on! Give it back. I'll tell Alice and she'll come yell at you!

Jasper: Go ahead. I'll tell her that use your wife as a slave.

Edward: I'll tell her that you pulled off my arm and then got Emmett to hold me while you hid it.

Emmett: (Muttering to himself) Y' know, he's too old to say like as well.

Jasper: (growls) Shut It!


End file.
